Hey there, thirsty for laughter?
Well, you’ve opened the right bottle because I’ve got a corker of an article to tickle your funny bone with some top-shelf drink puns.
From beer to wine, we’ve got a collection that will have you grinning.
So, grab your favorite drink, sit back, and let’s sip on some giggles!
Quenching Drink Puns
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
- I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up.
- Whiskey is a-rye-ing hit at the party!
- A beer doesn’t get mad when you upgrade it to a better brand.
- What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Cocktails are just juice wearing a tuxedo.
- A vodka soda might not be your spirit animal, but it’s definitely spirited.
- When life gives you lemons, make a gin and tonic.
- Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice!
- Drinking coffee makes you espresso yourself.
Hilarious Drink Puns
- If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
- I fear for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
- A bartender broke up with her boyfriend. He couldn’t beer it anymore.
- The new wine bar is grape. I’ve decided to merlot in this new lifestyle!
- Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the cornstalks have ears!
- Drinking rum before 10am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
- I used to be a bartender, but I couldn’t mix it with my schedule.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Do you know the price of a soda in the salon? About a perm and a half!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Funny Drink Puns
- Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.
- I’m on a gin and tonic diet. So far I’ve lost two days.
- Everyone wants herbal tea patents—they’re brew-tiful.
- People drink caffeine to stay grounded.
- Why do tea drinkers have great conversations? Because they have all the right steep!
- Puns about juice are so pulpy.
- If you pour root beer into a square cup, you get beer.
- You can’t trust a whiskey bottle, it might be full of double dealings.
- Why do bartenders love school? They’re great at mixers!
- Coffee has bean a great friend to me.
Check Out: 120+ Delightful Mai Tai Puns to Lift Your Spirits
Drink One-Liners
- It’s always five o’clock somewhere.
- Time flies when you’re having rum.
- Wine a little, you’ll feel better.
- Sip happens.
- Beer: because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
- Alcohol you later.
- Born to rum.
- Beer me!
- Life’s brew-tiful.
- I’m beer-y happy to see you!
Check Out: 140+ Cocktail Puns to Stir Up Some Fun (Cheers to Chuckles)
Best Drink Jokes
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
Check Out: 140+ Beer Puns to Ale-leviate Your Day (Cheers to Laughs)
Best Drink Puns
- What tea do hockey players drink? Penalt-tea.
- Wine not?
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!
- If you’re afraid of dying alone, become a bus driver.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
- What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.
Check Out: 100+ Fun and Refreshing Juice Puns to Brighten Your Day
Drink Puns and Jokes
- Whenever I drink milk, I spill it on my shirt. It’s a dairy lack of coordination.
- Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.
- Wine flies when you’re feeling good.
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
- My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- Feeling indigo today? Just brew yourself a cup of tea and relax.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- He drove his expensive car to the edge of the cliff, and now it’s a su-porsche.
Check Out: 140+ Bourbon Puns That Will Make You Say ‘Whiskey’ Me Away!
Short Drink Jokes
- Time flies when you’re having rum.
- Cheers to pouring out the truth.
- Age gets better with wine.
- Beer: keeping ugly people at bay since the dawn of time.
- I make pour decisions.
- Life is brew-tiful.
- How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
- Beer me later.
- Trouble brewing? That’s my kind of weather.
- Beer pressure is not the same as peer pressure.
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Katherine is the passionate educator and writer behind HandwritingwithKatherine.com. As a dedicated teacher, she cherishes the art of handwriting and its unique reflection of individuality. Beyond the classroom, Katherine delves into the world of writing, sharing a blend of educational insights and personal stories. When she’s not teaching or blogging, Katherine can be found exploring bookshops or writing with a comforting cup of tea in hand.