150+ Hand Puns and Jokes That Will Clap Up Your Day

Welcome, fellow pun enthusiasts! Are you ready to lend us a hand—or ten—in diving into the wonderfully witty world of hand puns?

If you’ve been searching for ways to add a touch of whimsy to your conversations or simply want to nail your next party with some hand-y jokes, you’ve come to the right place.

Get ready to clap your hands with glee as we explore the top hand puns that are guaranteed to high-five your funny bone!

Hilarious Hand Puns

• Why do fingers make terrible actors? Because they always get caught up in the drama and can’t seem to nail their parts!
• When hands get together, what do they love to play? Palm cards!
• I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist. However, I’ve never missed a high-five.
• What do you call a high-five that goes all around the world? A global warming!
• Why was the hand a great judge? It always had a firm grip on justice and never waved the rules.
• What do you call a hand that’s great at making deals? A handshake!
• Why did the finger break up with the thumb? It found out the thumb was all thumbs!
• What kind of music do hands love? Jazz hands!
• Why do hands never get lonely? Because they always stick together!
• How do hands hear? Through the hand-le of a cup!

Funny Hand Puns

• Why don’t hands ever get lost? Because they’re always attached to a palm pilot!
• What did the hand say to the other hand when they were getting ready for a high-five? “On the count of three—let’s slap it up!”
• Why was the hand so good at karate? It always had a black belt in palm-ate!
• What’s a hand’s favorite sport? Boxing—because they get to glove up!
• Why are fingers like ancient civilizations? They have digital cultures!
• What do you call an energetic finger? A spark-plug!
• Why do hands make good poets? Because they have a great sense of rhyme and meter—finger by finger!
• What did the hand say to the ball? “Catch you later!”
• What’s a hand’s favorite storage place? The glove compartment!
• Why are hands great in a crisis? Because they always manage to handle it!

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Hand One-Liners

• “I once had a hand in a pie business—it was quite the undertaking!”
• “If you’re ever cold, just give me a hand—I’m a bit of a palm heater.”
• “Hands down, this has got to be the best way to spend a day!”
• “I’ve got to hand it to you, that was a great performance!”
• “Never underestimate the power of a firm handshake—it can open doors!”
• “You’ve got to hand it to short people… because they can’t reach it!”
• “Always trust a hand to keep secrets—they’re good at keeping things under wraps.”
• “Are you a hand model? Because your grip on reality is stunning!”
• “Let’s give them a big hand—hopefully, they’ll give it back.”
• “When hands take a selfie, it’s always a big round of applause!”

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Best Hand Jokes

• What do you call a group of palms who excel at secrets? Whispering hands!
• How do hands resolve their problems? With a handshake agreement!
• Why did the hand refuse to write? It had a bad case of writer’s cramp!
• What do you call a hand that’s both cool and popular? A hip-palm!
• Why do hands love the winter? They really enjoy mitten season!
• What did the finger say to the thumb when it was upset? “Don’t worry, I’m here to point things out!”
• What’s a hand’s favorite dance move? The finger-tango!
• Why was the palm always calm? It mastered the art of meditation!
• What did the finger do when it was hungry? It went back for a second helping hand!
• Why do hands always win at cards? Because they play their cards right!

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Best Hand Puns

• What did the hand say after it wrote an autobiography? “Now, that’s a story I had a hand in!”
• Why dohands love new technology? Because they like to keep their finger on the pulse!
• What do you call a polite hand gesture in the library? A hush-hand!
• Why was the hand so good at climbing? Because it always kept a good grip on the situation!
• What do hands bring to a picnic? Finger sandwiches!
• Why was the hand always the best at hide and seek? Because it knew all the best places to glove!
• Why don’t hands get good service? Because waiters always seem to palm them off!
• How do hands stay in shape? By lifting finger weights!
• What’s a hand’s favorite body of water? The Gulf of Hand-holding!
• Why do hands make great community leaders? Because they’re always involved and love to reach out!

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Hand Puns and Jokes

• Why do hands make such good musicians? They know how to finger the right notes!
• What do you call a hand that’s a great cook? Chef of the hand!
• Why are hands so good at basketball? They’re great at handling the ball!
• How do fingers pay for things? With a charge to the palm!
• Why was the hand so good at poker? It always knew how to deal with a tough hand!
• Why did the hand go to school? To improve its handwriting!
• Why don’t hands ever get bored? Because they’re always up to something!
• What did the hand say when it finally found its missing glove? “I glove you!”
• What’s a hand’s favorite opera? The Palm of the Opera!
• Why do hands like roller coasters? They enjoy the ups and downs and the loops!

Check Out: 130 Time Puns – From Tick-Tock Laughs to Dark Humor Delights

Short Hand Puns

• “If you want to get ahead, get a hat. If you want to get a hand, get a glove!”
• “Hands in the air like you just don’t care—but please care a little.”
• “Talk to the hand, because the face ain’t listening anymore!”
• “Keep your friends close and your handkerchiefs closer.”
• “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A joke in the hand is worth two on Twitter!”
• “I tried giving up hand gestures for Lent, but it was harder than I thought!”
• “Don’t hand-le me with care, I’m not a fruit!”
• “When in doubt, pinky out!”
• “A hand wave beats a poker face any day.”
• “Never look a gift hand in the mouth—or do, it might be holding something!”

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Final Words

So there you have it, a roundup of the top hand puns that are sure to make you the hit of any gathering or at least give you a ‘hand’ up in the humor department.

Whether you slap them down during a speech, toss them into your text messages, or simply hand them out like high fives at parties, these puns are here to lift spirits and bring a little laughter to your day.

So the next time you feel the urge to lend a humorous hand, remember these puns and keep everyone in stitches! Remember, a hand joke a day keeps the boredom away!