160+ Rib-Tickling Hippo Puns and Jokes to Make Your Day

Welcome to a river of laughs where the hippos are hefty, and the puns are hefty-hilarious!

Whether you’re on a safari or just surfing the web from your sofa, our collection of the top hippo puns, one-liners, and jokes will have you chuckling like a hippo in a mud bath.

So grab your snorkels, and let’s dive into the whimsical world of hippo humor!

Hippo Puns to Start the Splash

Why don’t you ever play cards with a hippo? Because they always hog all the river cards!
What do you call a hippo hiding in a bush? A big floral surprise!
What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of music? Hip-hop, of course!
Why did the hippo go to college? To get a hippo-campus!
What do you call a hippo with a high IQ? A Hippopotagenius!
Why was the hippo always late? Because it’s a big behemoth that takes its time!

How do hippos talk to each other? With a hippo-tele-phony!
What game do hippos play at parties? Belly flops!
What’s a hippo’s favorite drink? Hippo-coco-nut water!

Why don’t hippos use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse!

Hilarious Hippo Puns to Keep the Giggles Going

What do you call a hippo that’s a detective? A Hippo-CSI!

How do you know if a hippo is lying? His pants are still dry!
Why don’t hippos like fast food? They can’t catch it!
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of story? A fairy-tail, because it’s full of heavy characters!

What do you get when you cross a hippo and a street lamp? A heavy light!
Why did the hippo break up with her boyfriend? He wasn’t as hefty-hearted as she wanted!
How does a hippo enter a room? With a big splash!

What do you get when you cross a hippo and a potato? A hippo-tato!
What’s a hippo’s least favorite weather? A drizzle—it prefers a full-on rainstorm!
Why did the hippo stop using his phone? It kept sinking in the water!

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Funny Hippo Puns That’ll Make You Snort

What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of joke? A heavy pun-der!
What do you call a fashionable hippo? A Hippo-chic!
Why was the hippo always calm? Because he always remembered to hippo-breathe!
What’s a hippo’s favorite circus act? The juggle-naut!
Why don’t hippos hide in trees? They’re not very good at branching out!
What do you call a lazy hippo? A Hippo-potato-couch!
What’s a hippo’s favorite holiday? Hippo-ween, because of all the masks!
How do you greet a hippo? With a heavy “hello”!
What do you call a hippo in a phone booth? Stuck!
Why did the hippo enroll in ballet? To improve its pirouettes and pliés in the mud!

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Hippo One-Liners to Amaze Your Friends

I told my hippo to put on his shoes, but he just flipped his flippers!
Ever heard of a hippo-tizing look? Just gaze into those big eyes!
My hippo’s not overweight, he’s just under-tall!
If laughing hippos could fly, the sky would be the limit!
A hippo never talks about his weight, it’s a heavy subject!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo Birthday to you!
My hippo doesn’t believe in luck, he’s too heavy to be lifted by chance!
What do you call a group of grazing hippos? Grass-fed heavyweights!
Hippos don’t need watches—they believe in big hands!
If you think I’m big, you should see my water bill!

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Best Hippo Jokes for Endless Entertainment

Why did the hippo bring a ladder to the river? It wanted to dive into deeper waters!
What did the grape say when the hippo stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the hippo refuse to play video games? It didn’t want to lose its cool in the virtual water!
What do you get when you cross a hippo and a zebra? Striped shorts for every occasion!
How do you stop a hippo from charging? Take away its credit card!
What do you call two hippos on a bike? Optimistic!
Why do hippos never get invited to parties? They always eat the host out of house and home!
What do you get if you cross a hippo with a parrot? A heavy talker!
Why was the hippo always in the kitchen? He was looking for the hippo-pot-of-mous soup!
How can you tell when there’s a hippo under your bed? Your nose is touching the ceiling!

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Best Hippo Puns for Hip-po Chuckles

Why did the hippo join the gym? To become a Hippolympian!
What do you call a hippo in a phone booth? A massive call drop!
How do hippos practice safe sun? They use hippo-sun-screen!
What did the hippo say after a great meal? That hit the hippo-spot!
What do you call an argument between hippos? A hippo-critique!
Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it!
What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want, it can’t hear you!
Why are hippos so good at algebra? They know how to simplify the heavy equations!
What’s a hippo’s favorite US state? Mississippi!
What do hippos wear to work? Hip-boots!

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Hippo Puns and Jokes That’ll Make You the Life of the Party

How do hippos stay cool? By sitting beside their fans!
What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? A Midsummer Night’s Dream, for the muddy scenes!
Why do hippos excel at history? They love to submerge themselves in the past!
What do hippos use to brush their teeth? A river!
Why did the hippo break his clock? He always wanted to be ahead of time!
What do hippos do when they’re sad? They bellow the blues!
How does a hippo leave the water? With a splash of drama!
Why did the hippo join NASA? It wanted a heavier-than-air craft!
What’s a hippo’s favorite opera? The Magic Flute, for the water scenes!
Why did the hippo sit on the marshmallow? To keep from falling into the hot chocolate!

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Short Hippo Puns to Wrap it Up

What’s a hippo’s motto? Eat, swim, and be merry!
Why was the hippo a great detective? He always weighed the evidence!
How does a hippo get to the other side of the river? By pressing the hippo-crossing button!
What do you call a hippo in quicksand? A depth charge!
Why are hippos always hungry? Because they have big mouths to fill!
Why do hippos make terrible thieves? They leave heavy footprints!
What’s a hippo’s favorite unit of measure? The kilopound!
Why did the hippo use a smartphone? To keep his social media feeds flowing!
What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of math? Hippotometry!
Why don’t hippos like to be rushed? They prefer to take things at their own heavy pace!

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Final Words

Congratulations! You’ve just swum through the muddy waters of hippo humor.

We hope these puns, one-liners, and jokes have left you feeling lighter than a hippo in a hot air balloon.

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, unless you’re a hippo; then water does just fine.

Keep spreading the chuckles and remember: in the world of humor, being a heavyweight is definitely a good thing!

Katherine

Katherine is the passionate educator and writer behind HandwritingwithKatherine.com. As a dedicated teacher, she cherishes the art of handwriting and its unique reflection of individuality. Beyond the classroom, Katherine delves into the world of writing, sharing a blend of educational insights and personal stories. When she’s not teaching or blogging, Katherine can be found exploring bookshops or writing with a comforting cup of tea in hand.