120+ Golf Puns and Jokes to Keep You Laughing on the Green

Golf is a beloved sport that brings joy to millions around the world, but it’s not just about the perfect swing or the elusive hole-in-one.

It’s also about the laughter and camaraderie shared among friends on the green. And what better way to add some extra fun to your game than with some hilarious golf puns?

Get ready to tee off with a smile as we explore the world of witty wordplay that will have you and your golfing buddies in stitches!

Golf Puns

• I’ve been practicing my golf swing, but I’m still a little rough around the edges.
• My golf game is like a broken pencil… it’s pointless!
• I tried golfing on the beach, but it was a total sand trap.
• Golf is a lot like taxes… you drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.
• I’m not saying my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
• I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made!
• I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser.
• Golf is the only sport where you can call a penalty on yourself, if you’re honest, which makes it the best sport of all to lie about.
• I’d give up golf, but I’m too addicted to the glamour.
• A golfer’s favorite cake? A wedge, of course!

Hilarious Golf Puns

• Golf is a good walk spoiled, but a bad golf cart ride perfected.
• I once played a round of golf with a guy who was so bad, he made me look like Tiger Woods.
• I tried to get a job at the golf course, but they handed me my walking papers.
• The best way to get a birdie is to hit an eagle.
• I’m not saying my golf partner is cheating, but if his pencil had an eraser, it would be worn out.
• I played a round of golf with a professor. He had a lot of degrees but no common sense.
• The only thing I do better than golfing is watching someone else golf.
• I hit my driver so far off the tee, it finished its round 20 minutes before I did.
• My doctor told me to avoid any unnecessary stress. So I gave up golf.
• I’ve got a golf-themed wedding coming up. I’m looking forward to the hole-y matrimony!

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Funny Golf Puns

• What do you call a golfer with an extra pair of pants? A liar.
• I played a round of golf with a cheese expert yesterday. He was a real whiz on the greens.
• What do you call a golfer who doesn’t play anymore? A has-been.
• I’ve got a new golf partner who talks in his sleep. At least he yells “Fore!” before he hits me.
• What’s a golfer’s favorite nursery rhyme? Puttin’ on the Greens.
• I played golf with a guy who always dressed to the nines. By the fourth hole, he dressed to the fives.
• What do you call a golfer who’s winning? A putter-upper.
• I tried golfing blindfolded. Couldn’t see what all the fuss was about.
• What’s a golfer’s favorite kind of math? Fore-mulas.
• I entered a golf tournament and won a trophy for most balls lost. I figure I came out a winner.

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Golf One-Liners

• Golf is 90% mental and the other 10% is all in your head.
• I once had a golf instructor who told me to practice my swing in slow motion. Now everyone calls me Flash.
• Golf is a lot like marriage. If you take yourself too seriously, it won’t work… and both are expensive.
• The best wood in most golfers’ bags is the pencil.
• If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
• Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
• Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
• The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
• If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
• The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

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Best Golf Jokes

• Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
• What do you call a golfer with an extra hole in their pants? A liar liar, pants on fire!
• Why did the cookie go golfing? Because it wanted to get a few chips in!
• What’s the best way to make a small fortune in golf? Start with a large one!
• Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
• How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? Fore!
• What do you call a golfer who lies about their score? A handicapper!
• Why did the golfer bring two shirts to the course? In case he got a hole in one!
• What do you call a golfer who never takes a practice swing? A natural!
• Why did the golf course get mad at the golfer? Because he kept driving on the greens!

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Best Golf Puns

• I didn’t hit the golf ball well today, but I sure did hit a lot of them!
• I’ve got a new putter that comes with a built-in cooler. It’s the only club that gets me drinks after the round.
• What do you call a golfer who always shoots in the 70s? A time traveler!
• I’m not saying the golf course is hard to play, but I brought a snorkel just in case.
• What do you call a dinosaur that can’t make par? A dino-sore!
• My golf partner is so bad, the only thing he can read on the green is the “No Walking” sign.
• I went golfing with a cartoonist the other day. He spent most of the time drawing the ball.
• My golf game is so bad, I had to have the ball retriever re-gripped.
• I’m not saying my golf game is bad, but if I grew grass, it would die.
• What do you call a golfer who always shoots under par? A sand bagger!

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Golf Puns and Jokes

• The golf pro asked me to take a swing, so I punched him in the face.
• What do you call a dog that can play golf? A putter pup!
• I tried to get a job as a caddy, but they said I wasn’t up to par.
• What do you call a golfer who always hits the ball straight? A legend in his own mind!
• I’m not saying my golf game is bad, but I once lost a ball in the ball washer.
• What do you call a golfer with a hole in their sock? A sole survivor!
• I asked my golf partner if he’d like to play through. He said, “No, I think I’ll play golf instead.”
• Why did the vampire give up golf? Because he couldn’t find his Stakes!
• I’ve got a new golf partner who’s a magician. He can turn a par 4 into a 7.
• What do you call a golfer who always lands in the sand? A beach bum!

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Short Golf Puns

• Teed off about my golf game.
• Driving range or driving me crazy?
• Putting my patience to the test.
• Fairway to spend an afternoon.
• Bunker down and focus.
• Swinging for the greens.
• Rough day on the course.
• Clubbing with my golfing buddies.
• Hooked on the game.
• Putt your best foot forward.

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Final Words

Golf may be a serious sport, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun on the course. These golf puns, jokes, and one-liners are sure to bring a smile to your face and lighten the mood during your next round.

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, especially when you’re stuck in a sand trap or facing a tricky putt. So, the next time you’re out on the green, don’t forget to share a few of these hilarious quips with your fellow golfers. Who knows, you might just score a hole-in-pun!