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100+ Cool Ice Hockey Puns (Jokes and One Liners)

An illustrated cartoon scene at a vibrant ice hockey game filled with various characters (animals and humans) smiling and exchanging funny puns, with speech bubbles containing witty phrases about ice

Are you ready to face off with some puck-tacular ice hockey puns?

Whether you’re a hockey fan or just on thin ice with your friends, these puns are sure to crack the ice!

Put on your best game face and get ready to laugh till you rink!

Ice Hockey Puns

  • Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because the Canadiens and the Bruins already have too many cups!
  • How did the hockey rink get all the gossip? It has boards everywhere!
  • Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his checking account reviewed.
  • What does a hockey player do before making a big decision? They give it plenty of ice for thought.
  • Why are hockey players good at making friends? Because they always bring something to ice-breakers.
  • Ever hear the one about the stadium that laughed? It had a lot of stands-up comedy!
  • What do hockey players and magicians have in common? They both know hat tricks.
  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good slap-shot beat!
  • How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit near the fans.
  • What’s a goalie’s favorite fruit? A blocked-berry!

Hilarious Ice Hockey Puns

  • Why did the hockey team fire their chef? He kept icing the puck.
  • What does a hockey player do during the summer? Get’s rink-charged!
  • Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
  • What was the coach’s advice on eating? Don’t eat fast, goal with your food.
  • Why was the ice hockey player a great artist? He knew how to draw a crowd and paint lines.
  • Why did the hockey player go to the gym? To get a stronger stick-handling routine!
  • How many hockey teams does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it has to be in the right jersey!
  • Why do hockey players make bad secret agents? They always get caught in a net.
  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite drink? Anything on the rocks.
  • What do you call a storm that interrupts a hockey game? Game delay-snow.

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Funny Ice Hockey Puns

  • How do hockey players stay motivated? They always get a goal in mind.
  • Why did the hockey team hold a meeting on the ice? To brainstorm!
  • What is a hockey player’s favorite clothing brand? Under Armor-y up!
  • Why did the hockey player take up gardening? To get better at stick-handling plants!
  • What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a singer? A one-score wonder!
  • Why was the hockey player always calm? He knew how to keep his cool.
  • What’s the zombie hockey player’s favorite move? The baseball check!
  • Why do hockey players get lonely? They spend too much time in the penalty box.
  • Why did the hockey player become a referee? He wanted to call the shots!
  • What did the hockey coach say after the game? Good play, team, but let’s ice this discussion.

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Ice Hockey One-liners

  • I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
  • Life is just a series of goals and penalties.
  • He’s a hockey player – he can’t pass up a pun opportunity.
  • The hockey store called, they said you need more ice in your life.
  • What’s the coldest job on the rink? Ice-fisherman!
  • Love is like hockey, it’s all about the team!
  • When life gives you lemons, make lemon-ice hockey.
  • If you can’t handle the pressure, don’t play in the rink.
  • Being a hockey goalie means you’re always on net duty.
  • Want to impress on a date? Take them to a hockey game – it’s a slap-shot!

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Best Ice Hockey Jokes

  • Why did the pineapple go to the hockey game? To see the slap-you-later punch.
  • How are babies and hockey players alike? They both whine after missing the goal.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton play hockey? He didn’t have the guts!
  • What do you get if you cross a cowboy with a hockey team? Western Conference!
  • Why are hockey players messy eaters? Because they’re always slashing through the vegetables.
  • Why did the player bring string to the game? So he could tie up the score.
  • What do hockey players and clouds have in common? They both rain on parades.
  • Why did the referee go to therapy? He kept having whistle-blower issues.
  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of the school day? Recess – it’s just like time out!
  • What did the hockey coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my puck back!

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Best Ice Hockey Puns

  • Yes, I’m an ice hockey fan. I ice, therefore I am.
  • Why do ice hockey pucks never get lost? They always make the cut.
  • What did the hockey player say before the big game? Let’s stick together!
  • Why was the hockey coach always yelling? He loved scoring points.
  • Are you a hockey player? Because you’ve got a hat trick on my heart.
  • Why was the hockey player good at telling jokes? He knew how to break the ice.
  • Have you heard about the new goalie? He’s all the rage between the posts!
  • What did the hockey puck say to the goalpost? You’re just my type – we always hit it off!
  • Why do hockey teams always do well with planning? They have great nets-periences!
  • Why was the ice rink so calm? It had many fans to keep cool.

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Ice Hockey Puns and Jokes

  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of party? An icebreaker!
  • Why did the goalie go to school? To work on his field goals.
  • Why did the hockey player go to the supermarket? To check out some chicks.
  • How do hockey players stay in shape offseason? They walk the fine ice.
  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite sweet treat? Penalty box of chocolates!
  • What do you call a fairy that loves ice hockey? A glitter puck!
  • Why is a bad hockey player like a bad musician? They never hit the right notes.
  • How do you know if a hockey player loves you? They give you a hat-trick in their heart.
  • Why couldn’t the hockey player dance? He had two left skates.
  • What’s the difference between a hockey game and a fish market? The fish market smells better and has fewer fights.

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Short Ice Hockey Puns

  • Why do we love ice hockey? It’s icing on the cake!
  • What’s a goalie’s favorite reality show? The Rebound Diaries.
  • Why are ice rinks so smart? Because they’re always clean slate.
  • Hockey players knit? Only if it’s a net gain.
  • What is an ice rink’s favorite subject? Chill-ogy.
  • What’s a hockey game’s favorite type of weather? Chill-factors.
  • What’s an ice hockey player’s favorite superhero? The Mighty Ducks!
  • Why do ice hockey players excel at math? They’re good at calculating the angles.
  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite breakfast food? Eggs iced easy.
  • Why do hockey captains always have cool ideas? They’re the ice-breakers.

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These ice hockey puns are sure to have you skating on thin ice with laughter!

Now you’ve got the puck-er up to break the ice at any event or gathering.

Keep these in your penalty box for some serious rink-rolling fun!